Clinging to my Creativity

Honestly, it’s really crazy how you start to see life differently when you go out on your own. I always remember how people would always harp about how young people, including myself, don’t know what the real world is like. Most of the time the people that told me this were people who, quite frankly, didn’t know shit about my life, where I had been, or what my view of the world was. The sad part is, I do find myself starting to feel that towards some young people these days. It’s strange how over a short amount of time, your perspective can change and broaden so incredibly much.

I think the hardest part of my getting out on my own was mostly learning to balance things in my life and to juggle money, relationships, work, and basic function of the household, on top of the fact that I chose to do it 400 miles away from 95% of the people I know. It has been stressful, for sure, and I have lost some friends along the way, had some bad and some really bad situations, but essentially, I grew up. 

I have had some people talk down to me along the way. They think I’m stupid for various reasons that they don’t really understand. Some act as though I abandoned my family and try to make me feel guilty for living my own life. But I refuse to take it personally, because I only have one [Life, that is]. 

I’ve always known that I have the capability to do whatever I want to in my life, I never once stopped believing that, even in the hardest of times.

When you’re in high school, it’s generally all the same. All the students are headed toward that same goal; to graduate. Maybe some people have one specific thing that they are particularly passionate about, but what happens with the art student who loves biology, psychology, and craves the knowledge of the universe?

She gets confused, that’s what she does. Confused, and then overwhelmed by the corruption of the world until she shuts down for a bit and essentially separates herself from everything but the one sure thing in her life. Then you realize that nothing is going to happen if you don’t make it; you will not go any further until you rise above what’s bothering you and move past it. Why not enjoy the ride of life and do what you love?

I’ve never been much of a risk taker, but what else am I going to do with my life? I have hobbies. I have interests. I have passions. Why not run with what I love? And maybe things won’t go as planned, maybe I will mess up, but I can’t afford to not take that risk and at least I will never wonder “what if?” 

So this is where my life is at now. I know what I love to do and I want to spend every minute that I can doing it. Maybe it’s not what other people pictured for me, but does that really matter? Maybe I’ll lose more friends along the way, but it happens. It’s not that I want it to, but more the fact that if they’re going to leave on a bad note, then they weren’t really friends to me in the first place. I hate having to keep reminding myself of that, but I also know that I can’t hold myself responsible for their perspective. 

All in all, I’m in a good mindset. I see a lot of good things ahead of us and I can’t wait to experience it. I know it won’t be perfect, but I wouldn’t have wanted anything different. Not only that, but I have my love to thank for everything. He gives me the courage to do this and we’re doing it together. Slowly but surely, every day we build up our lives and take tiny steps forward into the rest of our lives.

 

And I cannot wait to see where things are in the coming years. ❤

 

 

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