Journal

Just a Mouse Running Her Clock

Boy, do I wish I wrote more. I feel like I’ve been away for so long that it’s hard to gather the words together.

My next duty is my own personal well-being, financially, mentally, and physically. All of which, unfortunately, is fuelled by financial stability. But fortunately, for us, we’re smart enough to know what we can handle and with the plans for the next few months, each week is going to be better than the last. With that falling into place, I can fairly easily balance everything else a little bit at a time.

The more and more all of these things fall into place, the easier it’s going to be for us to work creatively. This is something I have been trying to work on for a couple of years now and I finally feel the creativity coming back. I had to learn through several trials that I cannot be limited to one medium. My ideas lie varyingly within different mediums depending upon environment, life, and creativity. I am currently working on some drawings and styles and trying to brush up on my skills. Hopefully I can get things geared back up and start posting artwork for sale within the next couple of months. The photo beneath is a recent drawing of mine which I am using as my own fuel for more creations.

marilyn

The past several months have been intense times. Various dramatic situations, one right after the other seemed to fall in our path, but gradually as I come to myself and take a step back and take a bigger look at each situation, the path I should take isn’t always as simple as it is clear. Ultimately I have to remember my own well-being and sanity above everything else in my life. If someone tries to stand in the way of the path I am trying to take for myself, I have no choice but to eliminate them. I cannot let ties, blood nor bond, stand in my way. It’s just that sometimes blood is harder to remove than anything, but if it’s going to stand in the way of where my life is going and not be supportive, what choice do I have?

 

Meanwhile, also within the next couple of months have several events and opportunities to look forward to. I simply have to keep my head up and working. My entire life feels like a clock being run by a mouse. The only way to keep the gears going is to keep parts lined up and maintained and to continue running.  I like to find different checkpoints to look forward to in order to keep my momentum and keep my gears going at high speed so that I don’t get burnt out.

So, as of late, my upcoming checkpoints are:

August 22: Cornetto Trilogy
September 22: Tegan and Sara concert and bestie tattoo
October 31: Halloween duhhh

AND THEN, the holidays!!!

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Along With Holidays, Creativity Breaks Anew

With the air growing brisker by the day, we find the holidays creeping up on us faster every day. That being said, we have a lot on our plates to prepare for. Halloween is next week and then we must start preparing for Thanksgiving.

Last year, we couldn’t do a whole lot. I was hanging by a thread at Starbucks because of a huge miscommunication and barely getting enough hours to pay all our bills. It’s pretty crazy all the stress that your body can manage, because looking back now, I don’t know how I handled it.

But this year, this year is different. It will be our last holiday in Ohio and we would like to make the most of it that we can. While we are ultra-ready to get out of this state, we still have people here that mean a lot to us and always will. This holiday will be the perfect time to show them that so we are planning a big Thanksgiving dinner for everyone. Not only that, but it will keep me busy. I like being busy and I enjoy planning things. It will keep my mind off the anticipation of the move.

Then, come December, I get to go spend some time with my family. It will be nice to finally have a holiday with everyone involved. I think my favorite part of this whole thing won’t be the gifts or anything like that, but the night of Christmas Eve when everything is quiet and it’s nothing but you, your family, the smell of pine needles and pumpkin pie and, this year, the added smell of baby powder from the new addition to the family. The anticipation is enough to make a person go crazy, so I spend my days planning, researching, Christmas shopping, and just staying busy in everything that I can.

My creativity has also been very active, blossoming, and changing. Every piece of art that I create is another coal in the fire to my ideas that continue to blaze and become brighter. Pumping my adrenaline more with every piece I finish. I am currently working on a set of photos which is beginning to lead into other ideas for later projects. I am going to allow myself enough time to gather my creativity, thoughts, and ideas and plan a release date of my content so that I can provide a nice range of work to show. Currently thinking of the end of January. I will release a more exact date in the next month or so.

In the mean time, I will leave you with a bit of a teaser photo:

For those of you who are unfamiliar with what site I am affiliated with, this is a promotional shot I did for my boyfriend’s website, www.gonzopolis.com. He is currently rehashing his Gravemakers podcast starring he and his fellow graveyard buddy just riffing on the everyday drone of working as graveyard shift clerks. If you haven’t heard of it, you should definitely check it out.

I get a feeling that we’re going to bring in 2013 with a bang. I’m so ready.

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Keep Moving

Ever have one of those days where you have so much to do, so many goals, and so many possibilities of screwing something up that you just want to sleep?

That has definitely been about the past week for me.

Our move date is March 1st, so in preparation I have been researching, taking notes, making phone calls, and trying to organize funds so that we will be ready to pack up and take our leave and relax knowing that we’ll be okay within that time period.

Then the current paperwork and wrapping up of our time here in Ohio, Final leases, bills to pay off, taxes to file, etc etc.

That along with putting together photo packages, setting up shoots, and just getting this photography business put back together and helping us out a bit financially.

One step at a time, is what I keep telling myself. Every day there’s a new list of tasks to accomplish. Keeping up with each one and staying on schedule is key. I never know what problems we’re going to come across and I am trying to allow for as much wiggle room and breathe time as I can. I can get it done today? Let’s do it.

Unfortunately this week was a problem week and we had a nice near $300 issue occur with my vehicle when we found out I had a bad starter. Fantastic. I’ve gotten passed the stress of it, there’s nothing I can do about it, I’m just thankful that I’ve gotten fairly decent with money and we can take the hit without it hurting too badly.

In the mean time, I have to stay true to myself. In order to do that, I stay on a proper sleep schedule and focus on my diet. Those two simple things help the very way I function on a daily basis. If I feel good and focused, I will be good and focused.

Today started another detox. 21 days of cleansing and rejuvenating my body. This is sort of my way of clearing my head and digging my heals in to give us a good boost for the coming year. It also gets my body in the habit of running on primarily healthy food and simply not craving bad things. I remember when pop was nasty to me and the thought of even trying to eat a whole candy bar made me feel sick. I need to feel that again..

…well, not so much that as the way I felt on a daily basis without those things. I felt freer, more expressive, more artistic, less worrisome. I miss those feelings.

Keep moving. Those are the words that keep playing in my head. Plow through the problems, keep your head on, and keep moving.

 

Photo by : Barry Kidd, http://www.barrykidd.com/

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